Our engagement, Part II, Telling Mom

I guess I have put off telling you how I told Mom that I was going to be married. I think I did the same thing 33 years ago. I kept putting it off. I don’t remember why, but I think once I told her it was official. Carla’s mom knew and I didn’t want her to tell Mom before I did.

Mom (and I know you are reading this) is a tough cookie. She can be your biggest fan but also your biggest critic. She will tell you in a heartbeat just what she is thinking. Mom knew how I felt about Carla for a long, long time. I mean since I was a kid. I don’t think she ever thought that we would get married. Don’t get me wrong, she liked Carla but she didn’t think Carla would ever marry me. I’m pretty sure she was shocked when Carla and I really started dating. I know she was happy for me but I am sure she thought that I would get hurt. Well, after dating for about a year and a half, she started to bug me about when I was going to get married. I didn’t want to talk about it because I didn’t know if it was going to happen myself. I got to where I was a little nervous about being along with Mom; because I was afraid the marriage thing would come up. She like myself was getting real attached to Christi. She was crazy about Christi but was scared of getting to close to her.

So, you can see, now that it was going to happen, I just really didn't know how to tell her. After putting it off for a couple of days, I finally got the nerve up to go over to Mom’s house. I sat down at the bar and she fixed me a cup of coffee. We sat there for a long time and talked about a lot of stuff. All the while I was trying to bring myself to tell her. I was running out of things to talk about so I finally just stopped and told her that I had something to say. She just looked at me and said, “What? I said, “Carla and I are going to be married”. There I had said it. Well, she just jumped out of her stool and came over and gave me a hug. She told me how much she had hoped we would get married.

She said, “ I getting a beautiful daughter in law and my first grandchild at the same time”. Now I’ve got to tell you that might not have been the exact words, but it was in the vicinity.

I don’t remember anything else that she said. I just remember feeling relief and knowing that Mom was happy for me.

Coming Tomorrow: The Wedding Dress fiasco or Christi needs stitches?

Our Engagement, The Proposal - Sort of, Kind of....

Our Engagement – Part 1.

I will have to break this into a couple of segments. There is just too much to tell.

Now I am going to tell you something that Carla and I have never told anyone, I mean, never told anyone before. It's always been our little secret. But heck,
we’re 56 now, so what? It's really kind of funny.

Carla knew from our first date how much that I cared about her. But Carla’s problem was that she was recently divorced, living at home with her mom and dad and she had an infant child, Christi. Carla’s first priority was Christi and anything else came second, including herself. She was scared of making any long-term decisions at all.

I was really ok with that for the first year and a half. I wanted to be there for her. I had loved her for a long time. Some time in the future I will tell you about all the grief I got from the guys at dad’s shop over the song: “Please don’t squeeze my Charmin”. I will leave that to your imagination but it took place years before Carla and I dated.

After dating for a year and a half, I began to become concerned about Christi. She and I had bonded. She called me; “My Mike”. One of the pictures on Margie’s wall was a raised black felt outline of a Roman knight. Christi thought that was a picture of me. I was getting so attached to Christi that I was worried about the effect it would have on Christi if Carla and I didn’t get married.

Carla and I talked about that briefly around Thanksgiving of 1975. Carla was still very non-committal on getting married. But I told her that I wouldn’t wait forever, because of Christi.

Well, we got through Christmas and New Years without talking much about it, but I guess it was on Carla’s mind. I don’t remember where we went on the evening of Jan 16, 1976 but after I took her home we sat and talked for a long time. I don’t even remember how marriage came up but it did.

I was pretty scared at the time that she would tell me to leave. I said repeatedly she didn’t have to decide that night. Heck I don’t even remember actually asking her to marry me that night (I never really asked her to marry me, it was just understood). Well, she wouldn’t let me leave and she just sat that for a long, long time. She told me to be quiet. Boy, was that hard for me. I just sat there and sat there while she just kept looking at the floor. It felt like an hour, but I really don’t know how long we sat there. I could tell she was making a decision.

She was sitting on the edge of her bed at the time. She finally lay back down on the bed. And then she said; Well shit, I guess I’ll marry you. That was it. I was in a state of total shock.

Then she said, I’ll marry you but I don’t want to tell anyone for a while. Let’s keep it our secret. I’ll let you know when I’m ready. My palms were sweating, my head was spinning and I was agreeing to anything. I could feel my heart beating. I was happy, scared, wondering, oh heck, I didn’t know what to think.

But I said, ok, I won’t tell anybody. Not even my mom. At that, I left and drove home. I don’t think I slept much that night. I can’t remember why, but I was supposed to be back at Carla’s house the next morning.

Best as I can remember, I drove up to her house and knocked on the back door, which was Cliff’s office. I remember Carla’s mom answering the door and just grabbing me and hugging me and telling me how happy she was. I did not know what to say. Just 12 hours earlier, I had told Carla that I wouldn’t tell anyone and here her momma was just gushing over the news that we were going to be married. I was totally confused.

When I got in the house and saw Carla, I remember looking at Carla in bewilderment. What happened? She just smiled and told me she would tell me later.

Well, later, she told me what had happened? I must have left Carla’s house around midnight the night before. I tiptoed out of the house as all the lights were out and it seemed like everyone was asleep.

Well apparently, Margie wasn’t asleep and must have been listening at the door as Carla and I had talked. Because as soon as I left, she bolted through Carla’s door and hugged Carla. She told Carla how happy she was at us getting married.

The secret lasted less than 30 minutes apparently. Just to make it clear, I really didn’t propose that night or even ever formally propose and Carla (not a curser) really said; “Well shit, I’ll guess I’ll marry you.” A night and a next day that I will never forget.

I always felt that Carla was stuck in the middle between me and Christi to start with. But she loves me and we are soul mates. Here's a video, Stuck in the Middle with You. Enjoy.



Next, I went to tell my mom.

Coming tomorrow: Telling My Mom

Happy Anniversary, Carla Jo

33 years ago today, our pastor, Charles Stewart, married us at Kinney Avenue Baptist Church. Wow, so many memories. 33 years ago today, I became Christi’s daddy.

We dated a little over two years before getting married. Everyone in the church was happy for us. We were a first for our pastor, Charles Stewart. He was a strict Southern Baptist preacher and he didn’t believe in divorce. He wouldn’t marry anybody that had been divorced. We were engaged in January and had a few counseling sessions with Charles Stewart right after we were engaged. He announced in church soon after we were engaged that he would now consider marrying someone that had been divorced. He had been in the pulpit over 10 years at that time and we were the first couple that he married that had involved a divorce. Believe me, that was a huge change for the man. I thought that was pretty special and believe me it wasn’t because of me. Carla, everyone loves you and he did too.

The picture below is one of my favorites from the wedding. Your parents, Cliff and Margie are standing by you and my parents; Janette and Leroy are standing by me.
Right beneath that picture is another picture of our new little family. Carla, Christi and me.

I think the pictures say it all, Carla, you are the love of my life.

I was watching the movie “Jerry Maguire” last night and the last clip of the movie is what I want to share.

The film shows a man at his desk. His name was Dicky Fox. This is what he said; “ I don’t have all the answers in life to be honest. I’ve failed as much as I’ve succeeded. But I love my wife and I love my life, and I wish you my kind of success.”

You know, that kind of sums up my life.

In closing, I picked a song that tells you, Carla, just how I feel. It is from the movie, “Heartland” and is the closing scene. It shows your favorite singer, George Strait, singing “I Cross My Heart”. I love you, Carla Jo.




Coming Tomorrow: Our engagement Don’t miss this one.